Growing up is tough.

Dear Hannah,

A few days ago, you and I cried together about you being left out.  You weren't invited to a party and all your friends were and it really hurt your feelings.  It was hard for me to be the mom at the moment.  I wanted to tell you that all those girls were stupid for not realizing how awesome you are and you should never speak to any of them again.  Luckily, the part of me that is trying really really hard to be a wise mama was stronger.  We talked about friendships and how they take work.  About how you really can't take them for granted, and how you need to be a good friend to have good friends.  We decided that if you want to be friends with this girl who left you out, you would have to make some effort.  So, you thought of inviting her and some mutual friends to the movies this weekend.   I think it is a great idea.  It shows maturity and growth. And it shows that you are not going to wallow and feel sorry for yourself or that everyone is out to get you.  I'm so super proud of you for refusing to be a victim.  BUT then you told me yesterday that another friend heard you making plans.  And that you basically left her out.  You asked me what you should do because you know what it feels like to be left out.  You don't want her to feel that way, but you also don't want to risk this new friendship that you are trying to grow with the other girl.  I'm sorry I didn't give you advice.  I'm sorry that I told you it sounds like a tough situation and that I know you will figure out what to do.  Life is hard!! Life is unfair, but you are so good.  You are so kind.  I actually am counting on you to do the right thing.  But here is where the mom thing is so tough and unfair!  I don't actually know what the right thing is.  My first instinct is that you should definitely invite the other girl.  I mean, not 2 days ago you were crying about being left out and now you are thinking about doing the exact same thing to another girl!!  BUT i get it. Junior high is so tough anyway, and you are trying to create a friendship with this first girl, and if you turn it into a party with a ton of people how are you going to do that? I think it will be okay whatever you decide to do, because you are still at a point where you need to learn lessons.  And I think it is ok to not always invite everyone to everything.  Now, I'm really hoping that if you decide to not invite her, you and your friend that is invited don't talk about plans in front of her.
Anyways, sometimes moms don't know the answer.  But I think you are awesome.  And I love you and the person you are becoming!!!