Dear Hannah,
  I've been meaning to tell you how proud you make me!  You are an amazing young woman.  I was so impressed that after playing volleyball all day long, you were willing to help with all the little kids that came to the barbecue.  They sure love you!  And the moms really appreciated it.  When the other teens were hiding in the house, you were right in the thick of things with babies on your lap, helping toddlers slide.  You are going to be an amazing mother someday, and I can't wait.  I am so lucky to get to be your mama.  Sometimes I worry about all that you will have to face, about how scary the world is.  I worry that it might drag you down.  But girl, you are amazing!  You know who you are and whose you are.  The light of a daughter of God shines bright in you. Thank you thank you thank you for being you!!!

love bunches and bunches,

Mom

Growing up is tough.

Dear Hannah,

A few days ago, you and I cried together about you being left out.  You weren't invited to a party and all your friends were and it really hurt your feelings.  It was hard for me to be the mom at the moment.  I wanted to tell you that all those girls were stupid for not realizing how awesome you are and you should never speak to any of them again.  Luckily, the part of me that is trying really really hard to be a wise mama was stronger.  We talked about friendships and how they take work.  About how you really can't take them for granted, and how you need to be a good friend to have good friends.  We decided that if you want to be friends with this girl who left you out, you would have to make some effort.  So, you thought of inviting her and some mutual friends to the movies this weekend.   I think it is a great idea.  It shows maturity and growth. And it shows that you are not going to wallow and feel sorry for yourself or that everyone is out to get you.  I'm so super proud of you for refusing to be a victim.  BUT then you told me yesterday that another friend heard you making plans.  And that you basically left her out.  You asked me what you should do because you know what it feels like to be left out.  You don't want her to feel that way, but you also don't want to risk this new friendship that you are trying to grow with the other girl.  I'm sorry I didn't give you advice.  I'm sorry that I told you it sounds like a tough situation and that I know you will figure out what to do.  Life is hard!! Life is unfair, but you are so good.  You are so kind.  I actually am counting on you to do the right thing.  But here is where the mom thing is so tough and unfair!  I don't actually know what the right thing is.  My first instinct is that you should definitely invite the other girl.  I mean, not 2 days ago you were crying about being left out and now you are thinking about doing the exact same thing to another girl!!  BUT i get it. Junior high is so tough anyway, and you are trying to create a friendship with this first girl, and if you turn it into a party with a ton of people how are you going to do that? I think it will be okay whatever you decide to do, because you are still at a point where you need to learn lessons.  And I think it is ok to not always invite everyone to everything.  Now, I'm really hoping that if you decide to not invite her, you and your friend that is invited don't talk about plans in front of her.
Anyways, sometimes moms don't know the answer.  But I think you are awesome.  And I love you and the person you are becoming!!!

To Miss Independent- my favorite 2-year-old

Dear Lucy,
  Today you brought your chair all the way in from the family room so you could climb on my bed to watch TV all by yourself.  It's just one of the ways you are trying so hard to show your independence.  Honestly, this phase is driving me crazy!! you are taking forever to do everything, because you want to do everything by yourself!  BUT since you are my 5th child, I have learned to let you.  I am happy to know that it is important for you to be able to do things by yourself.  AND bonus: it teaches your mama more about patience.  And, believe me, that is something that she needs to learn about.  It's one of those lessons that just hasn't sunk in yet.

Luckily, I'm learning that the pride you feel at accomplishing a task alone is WAY more important than my schedule.  And i'm learning to adjust my time and pick my battles.  I mean there are just some things that you can't do alone yet- like when you wanted to cut your own roast last night.  But you will get there.  And thankfully, there is always hair- dye for all the grays you are giving me! 

I mean, really, how is being on time worth more than that face?!  I love you, Sparkle!

Love,

Mom

Dear future me,
  Today is the day that you started the blog you had been thinking about forever!  A place to just write- because you need to write.  A place to share your memories, to have a record of what you learned and how you felt when you learned it.  You know, just in case you get old someday and forget things.  As you are looking back, I hope that you remember: Your life has been amazing!  You have been blessed to find enormous joy in the simple things.  Your husband and children are what bring you the most happiness.  Sometimes you feel wise- sometimes you feel naive.  You don't mind laughing at yourself and really try to learn from your mistakes.  And when you repeat your mistakes, you pick yourself up, have a little chuckle and try again.  You love to make people happy!  But you are shy and don't like to put yourself out there, so you do most things behind the scenes.  The spotlight is not a place you are comfortable.  As you started this blog, you hoped to be honest and real in your writing.  You hope to look back years later and see growth, and if you are lucky- wisdom.  Because really thats what you have hoped for: to be wise!